"Swimming, and Wildlife in Sepia" July 2 2010

In the spirit of sleeping better, I have cut down, Caffeine Consumption to about 3 cups of coffee, from 5-9 a day. I briefly fell asleep on the couch last night, watching Aliens. I know right! Why would I watch a horror/thriller flick like that if I have nightmares. Well, b/c I like the movie, and it really doesn't scare me, its more nostalgic.

I take that back, I get a little anxious on the wide angles of the planets and space.

So after my neigbor stopped bombarding my home with artillery shells, and roman candles, it was quite, and I slowly drifted to sleep.

5,4,3,2,1.

A flash occurred and I could see all around me. I was standing by a large pond, in Kansas. The sky was clear and it was sunny, but everything was in Sepia. I walked a ways through the tall grass, to where the pond started to bend. I was excited to see Schools, and schools of fish. I started casting and first cast I caught a good size Large-mouth bass. Then out of the corner of my eye, I could see a Huge fish swimming in the brush along the bank. This Bass was so large, his dorsal fin and tail fin were half way out of the water.

I started casting, and each time I cast, my lure would fly in a 45 Degree angle away from where i was pointing. I would reel the line in, and would try again. Same thing would happen, but this time, I was casting over other people fishing on the bank with me. To avoid tangling our lines, I would have to go behind them raise my pole in the air, and walk past. I was embarrassed because these were professional fisherman, and it was a privilege to fish at this pond.

Finally I hit my mark, and the Colossal Bass took my lure. At first I thought I was hung up, because it was so tough to reel in, and there was no give in the line.
But the line started to slowly reel in. After about 3 minutes of reeling, my line snapped and spooled into a tangled mess on my pole. I was out of commission. My friend Steve came up to me and told me I needed to start throwing the lure back out or I was going to miss out on the daily catch. I felt rushed and frustrated.

I opened my tackle box to try and get teh tools I needed to fix this mess, but It was full of water, and the smaller fish I caught earlier. All my tackle was a mess. I wanted to release the fish back into the Pond, so I could clean my tackle back up, and try catch "the big one", but they were all dead.

I didnt know what to do, I felt ashamed. After this, I found myself at Steves Ranch house on this property in the garage. For some reason, unknown shapeless people, were pulling in and out of the garage, really fast.

This worried me because my Dog Adrian was with me, and she was staying in the garage. We got in a Truck and started to leave. I told Steve to stop, so I could look for Adrian, because i thought she may have gotten run over.

I called and Called for her. She finally came out, but she looked different.
She had black oil and rubber marks on her white coat. And her hind leg was broken, or out of socket. I told Steve She was going to die, and he said she was fine. Steve said watch: Want a treat Adrian? She hobbled over excitedly. I felt heart broken to see her hurt, and disgusted.

Another Flash Occurred, and I was on a Wooded, dirt road, in a hunting party. We were in a Big game tournament.

Each member had a responsibility , a shooter, a spotter, and navigator.
I was self appointed Spotter. As we walked down the road we jumped 10 mule deer. They were massive, each having huge antlers big as an adult arm.

I dropped to the ground and started calling out their locations to the shooter, but I was doing it incorrectly, he started yelling at me. Shooter: "No not like that, like this. 2 at 100 yards 1 o'clock, heading to 12."

At that very moment a Huge wall of water rushed down the road, and we started swimming for our lives. I was getting tired so I started to swim on my back, and I was fast, much faster than the rest. I started passing my party and those that were on the trail. Yelling to them, to swim on there backs so they could rest, and not drown.

Then I woke up.........


Thoughts: I can see that, I feel inadequate in a lot of scenarios, even vulnerable to what others think. Do I feel this way about myself in real life?